


Frye as a Kite

by JackdawScoundrel



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Assassin's Creed: Syndicate, Drugs, Funny, Gen, Hallucinations, High Jacob Frye, Jacob Frye is an idiot, Jacob is a dramatic bitch, Jeremy Wade is mentioned, Modern Assassins (Assassin's Creed), a lot of conversationing, evie is the responsible one obviously, henry turns up because why not, if you know who he is i love u, only wrote this to make myself laugh, pepsi is better than coke fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27925378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackdawScoundrel/pseuds/JackdawScoundrel
Summary: Jacob takes a dodgy pill and (being the dramatic bitch he is) low key thinks he's gonna die, Evie misses her uni lectures to come back and babysit him, Henry turns up as well just for the bants, it's probably really horribly written but whatever, it made me laugh so who cares, have funAlso it's really conversationy?? idk if there's a proper word for that but yeah
Relationships: Evie Frye & Henry Green | Jayadeep Mir, Evie Frye & Jacob Frye, Jacob Frye & Henry Green | Jayadeep Mir
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk dude why are there like 3 summaries?? I'm so confused what

"See you later!" Called Evie.

"See ya!" Jacob yelled back, and as soon as the front door slammed he legged it back upstairs to his room.  
Digging through the mess in his bedside drawer, his fingers finally landed on an old chapstick tube which he pulled out with a triumphant smirk, uncapping it to reveal a crudely wrapped cling film parcel where the actual lip balm should be.  
"Noice." said Jacob to no one in particular, replacing the cap and sticking the tube in the pocket of his joggers.

He headed back downstairs and turned on the TV with a feeling of nervous excitement settling in his chest- it had been so long since he'd done this, but he knew it would be physically impossible to not feel good once it kicked in so he wasn't worried.  
Flicking through the channels he came across River Monsters.  
"Fuck yeah bitch, my G Jeremy Wade." He said out loud, and turned up the volume so he could hear what was going on while he left to grab a big bottle of Pepsi he'd been saving for the occasion.

When he was back on the sofa in front of the TV with his massive bottle of Pepsi, Jacob took out the chapstick again and unwrapped the cling film.  
Inside was a pill- bright pink with the Red Bull logo stamped onto one side and a groove marking where to cut it running across the middle of the other.

Jacob examined it for a minute. It didn't look like the red bulls he'd had in the past, they were usually bigger and a different shade of pink. He'd planned to just have half given how low his tolerance would be by now, but seeing the size of it maybe he should just have the whole thing...  
Nah, he'd have half now and more if he felt like it. Would last longer that way.  
He bit it at the line and chased it with a swig of Pepsi, shoving the other half back into the chapstick tube.  
The taste was certainly as bad as he remembered, but it was a small price to pay for a few hours of completely effortless enjoyment, so he lay back on the sofa and gave Jeremy Wade his full attention.

Jacob looked at the clock. Ten minutes? He must be imagining things, no way he'd already be feeling it after only ten minutes. He decided it must be nerves and looked back at the telly which was currently showing an advert for one of those cool looking jet washer things.

By the time River Monsters came back on Jacob had no doubts that A- it was definitely kicking in already, and B- it was definitely a dodgy pill.  
Usually it'd take half an hour at least, and then when it did kick in it didn't make him feel like he was made of bricks.

Jacob shut his eyes- being able to see was apparently just not something he could currently handle- and held his head in his hands with his elbows on his knees to try and make it easier to breathe.  
This must be what it was like for all the lions on those animal shows when they got shot with the tranquiliser- he could barely keep himself conscious and it had come on so fast.  
He really wanted to open the window but he didn't think he could manage moving at that particular moment in time so he just stayed put and wondered what to do.

One option- the one they always told you to do in those dull school assemblies about personal safety- was to call 999 and wait for an ambulance. Even in this state Jacob knew he'd rather die than be as extra as that, but the thought of just sitting there for god knows how many hours with no one to help was almost as bad as well.

He could call Evie as long as she hadn't got to uni yet... It wasn't ideal but hopefully she wouldn't completely freak out. He slowly opened his eyes again and looked up at the clock. She'd only been gone about twenty minutes.

Jacob pulled out his phone "Ok Google, call Evie." He murmured. Nothing happened.  
He opened his eyes again and remembered that you had to unlock phones to actually make them do anything. He tapped his password into the keypad and tried again.

"Ok Google, call Evie."

"Searching google for 'call Evie'."

"Stupid cunt phone" groaned Jacob, opting to just search his contacts the old fashioned way. Finally the phone started ringing and a few seconds later his sister picked up.

"Hi, what's up, did I leave something at home?"

"Uhh no."

"...Ok, so why did you call me? And why are you talking so weirdly?"

"I uh" Jacob paused to breathe- talking was a lot of effort. "I did md but it's like... Not that good."

"Jacob what do you mean 'Not that good'?" There was an edge to Evie's voice. He was gonna be in so much shit.

"It's not right, must be some other shit in it."

"Fucks sake Jacob, I'm coming back, you better not die before I get home. Stay on the line."

"Right."

A few seconds passed, or maybe it was a few minutes, Jacob couldn't tell, but he REALLY had to go and be by the window. Breathing still air wasn't cutting it, he needed air that moved.

"Evie I'm going by the window, I'll come back in a minute." He slurred.

"Jacob just bring your phone with you."

"What? Oh yeah."

"Can you put me on speaker?"

"The bluetooth one?"

"Oh my god, no, not the actual speaker, just press the button on your phone."

"Oh." He said, and tried not to fall over as he stood up and walked the short distance to the kitchen.

When he got there he shoved open the big window and pulled himself up onto the counter like a sloth to be closer to the good air.  
Breathing with his head out the kitchen window was like the difference between crisp tap water and room temperature water from a glass that had been sat by a radiator for a day and a half. He felt like he'd be alright if he could just stay like this until whatever it was wore off.

"Evie I think I won't die now." He reported.

"Well isn't that just fantastic." She said tightly. "I'll be there in five, lucky for you I wasn't even half way there, I missed the first train."

"Half way where?" Jacob asked, shifting his position so he could lie on the counter with his legs hanging off it and still have his head by the window.

"To uni you dumbass."

"Oh. Ha. 'magine being in debt half your life for some weirdo degree-" he had to pause for a breath "could never be me."

"Imagine thinking you're in a position to criticise anyone else's choices when you work a part time delivery job for the local Domino's and attempt to get high by yourself on Wednesday mornings." Evie said cuttingly. "Could never be me."

"Well now I'm going to die out of spite."

"Ok answer me seriously Jacob, do you genuinely think you're going to die?"

"Hmmm... Probably not" he sighed for dramatic effect "unfortunately."

Evie didn't say anything but Jacob heard her sigh over the phone.  
The next few minutes passed by punctuated with a couple rounds of "Jacob?" "Yeah?" "Just checking you're not dead." before his phone made the disconnected bleep sound and he heard keys in the front door.

"Jacob?" Came Evie's voice, accompanied by the sound of keys being flung onto the little table in the hall as she quickly pulled off her boots.

He made an incoherent grunting noise and a few moments later heard his sister enter the room. Lifting his head seemed like far too much effort, and he still wasn't feeling the love for having his eyes open so he just stayed put.

"What the fuck, Jake?"

"What?"

"Actually never mind, I'll be mad at you when you're sober enough to feel bad about it, what's gone wrong here?"

"The pill is no good, it's not proper md."

"What's not proper about it?"

Jacob took a deep breath. "Kicked in too soon. Made me sleepy instead of awake. My heart is going slow instead of fast like it usually does. Feel like... soggy cotton wool. Opening my eyes is just one too many things. Don't feel happy, and that's the whole point." He sighed. "Maybe more things, I don't know."

"When did you take it?"

"Right after you went."

"And how long did it take to hit you?"

"Maybe ten minutes I think?" He said slowly.

"Come and lie down while I try and figure out what's in it, you can't stay up there."

"Nah. Moving is too hard."

"That wasn't a question." Evie replied as she walked over to grab Jacob's midriff and slide him unceremoniously off the counter like a dead fish.  
Luckily for Evie he was pretty small for his age and was in no state to put up any kind of fight so, with his eyes still closed, he leant on her shoulder as she led him back into the living room where a new episode of River Monsters was now playing.

He felt himself being lowered down onto the sofa again, but it didn't seem like the right place for him to be so he slid onto the floor like a sack of potatoes, one arm crumpled beneath his body in a way that would have been uncomfortable if he'd been in any fit state to notice it.

"Why are you on the floor?" Asked Evie flatly.

"Floor is where it's at." He mumbled.

"Whatever. I'm gonna google it and see what the hell you've taken. What pill was it?"

"Red Bull." He was quiet for a minute before adding the information that really should have tipped him off to this whole thing. "Was too small though. Plain neon pink instead of all grainy like the other times."

"So you noticed this shit and still decided to go ahead?" Evie asked without sympathy.

"Yep."

"Do you have any regard for your own safety whatsoever?"

"Probably not... Actually, definitely not."

Evie just sighed and went back to scouring google. A few minutes later she spoke up again. "Apparently it's common for it to be cut with ketamine, but that seems unlikely given what's going on with you."

"I hope it's ket" Jacob said with a tiny laugh "two in one babeyyy."

"Fucking idiot." Evie muttered. "Can we turn this shite off by the way? You're not even watching it."

"Am too! Got my eyes open now. Not shite anyway, it's Jeremy Wade." Jacob mumbled.

"I hate to break it to you, but that isn't Gerard Way."

"Jeremy Wade" Jacob repeated slightly more clearly "he's good."

"He's literally a middle-aged TV fisherman, what's your deal? You gonna tell me you jerk off to Robson Green next?"

Jacob made a noise as if he was being sick at the mention of Robson Green. "Keep that name out of your whore mouth, traitor. Extreme Fishing will never be on a level with River Monsters."

His sister just laughed at him.

"Shut up! Just cos you don't have daddy issues!" Jacob whinged.

Evie was absolutely cackling now "I just got that on video."

"Evieee!" Said Jacob, scandalised.

"Stop it," Evie said between laughs "I actually need to find out what's wrong with you, stop distracting me."

Jacob mimicked her and pulled a face that she couldn't see because of the fact that he was still flopped on the floor in front of the sofa, but he did shut up after that.

"I reckon it's fentanyl." Said Evie during the next ad break.

"wow, grape." Jacob replied.

"You don't know what that is do you?" She asked, her voice a little tense.

"nope."

"It's meant to be used as a medically supervised painkiller. Apparently just 0.002 grams is enough to kill you."

"Hah. Nice."

"Jacob I'm genuinely worried. By the looks of it you've already got most of the side effects, and respiratory depression can lead to arrest, and then you genuinely might die." She rattled off. "Did you have the whole pill or just half?"

"Only half because I am sensible sometimes."

"Where's the rest of it?" She watched as Jacob slapped his own arse to indicate that he had it in his back pocket. "Give it here, I'm looking after it." She demanded.  
Jacob handed it over without a fuss, he didn't want that rubbish knock off crap anyway.

"I don't even want to imagine what might have happened if you'd taken the whole thing." Evie said nervously.

"Ah, stop worrying, I'm feeling less bad than I was to start with anyway." Jacob said, sensing that Evie was actually getting worked up. "I'm not as tired now, just sort of slow... And a bit strange."

"Have you got any of the usual md side effects yet?"

"Umm... Well everything is swirly, and I guess I'm kind of hot." Jacob thought for a minute before remembering something and grabbing his phone. He stared at himself in the front camera for a moment before rolling on his back and looking up at Evie on the sofa.  
"Huh" He said, distracted again "Haven't actually seen you yet today. Nice shirt. Anyway look at my eyes!" He said, opening them wide and grinning at his sister.

"Christ on a bike." She said, shaking her head with an expression of mild disgust. "I knew you did stuff like his but it's another thing to see it first-hand."  
His usually warm brown irises were now about 90% pupil, giving him a distinctly unhinged look.

"It's usually more fun than this. Normally I have so much energy and everything feels like it's going fast, and I'm so happy." He rubbed his eyes and lay his head back on the floor. "This time I feel slow, but still with the... the no block from my brain to my mouth kind of thing."

"Right..." Evie said. "Well just make sure you keep on breathing properly for now."

"Yeah, I have to make sure because my breathing switched to manual so I keep not breathing and then I notice and breathe on purpose."

Evie didn't seem to know what to say for a minute, she just sat there looking at Jacob while he stared up at the textured coating on the living room ceiling.  
"Why do you do stuff like this?"

"For fun, duh." He replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"But it doesn't seem very fun. And why would you still do it even when you must have suspected the pill you got wasn't the same as it usually is?"

Jacob had to do one of his on purpose breaths before responding. "To make something happen."

"But it's too much of a risk."

"Nahhh." He said dismissively. "I knew I probably wouldn't die really, dealers don't want to kill their customers."

"Just 'probably' shouldn't be good enough."

"Says who?"

"Anyone with even a shred of value for their own continued existence."

"Well it makes sense then!" Jacob wasn't feeling the usual euphoria of mdma, but there must have been enough to at least block out any kind of negative feelings for him to so openly say something like that without hiding it in a joke.

"Do you literally want to die?" Evie asked.

It didn't really occur to Jacob that this was a bit of a serious topic, so he answered completely honestly. "Well yeah, like I'm not gonna make it happen, but if it did then..." He shrugged. "It just be like that sometimes."

"You literally don't care if you live or die?"

"Yeah, basically."

"That's not normal Jacob." She worded it almost as a joke, but Evie sounded worried again. Or maybe it was pity. Either way, he couldn't see what she was getting concerned about, it was nothing new.

"It's ok, I don't mind." He said it as if it should be comforting, smiling up at Evie with the look of someone who didn't have a single functioning brain cell.

"You actually need therapy."

Jacob's smile widened into a toothy grin as he did finger guns at Evie who just blinked at him, probably wondering how they could possibly be related.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For real, if you do get a red bull pill that's neon pink then DON'T HAVE IT it's not the legit one, the legit ones are pale pink with these little flecks in and they're pretty chunky, like honestly I'd say take a third not even half of those cos they'll fuck you up lmao. If you're a cop then go away, I didn't do anything, what d'you mean I'm acting sus by saying shit like this?? Oink Oink bitch. Also sorry about the River Monsters thing but the idea of Jacob having a weird kind of replacement father figure yearning for Jeremy Wade absolutely sent me


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk what to put here, it just carries on from chapter 1. I didn't even mean to make chapters honestly, it just ended up seeming a bit long to only be one.

"Oi Evie?"

"Hmm?" She said, not looking up from her book.

"Can I have a hug?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, considering for a moment. "Only if you promise not to fart on me."

Jacob giggled to himself. "I forgot I used to do that."

"Sorry, 'used to'? You literally did it last week, that's not exactly ancient history." She retorted, marking her page and setting down the book.

Scrabbling about on the floor until he was in a kneeling position, Jacob put a hand on his heart and held the other one out in front of him like some kind of nitty medieval priest.  
"I hereby give thee my word that I shall not pass wind in your company, now and forever, may the force be with you, live long and prosper, amen."  
He finished with a nod followed by half the macarena before standing up and looking expectantly at Evie.

His sister was shaking with silent laughter as she nodded her head, eventually managing to steady herself long enough to say "Alright then." as she pulled herself off the sofa and stood up to give him a proper hug.

"Jacob?" She said after about ten seconds "You gonna let go any time soon?"

"Nope." he said, smiling contentedly.

"Great." She said sarcastically, but deep down they both knew she was as much of a softie as he was because she just hugged him tighter and let out a relaxed sigh.

Eventually Jacob's arms got tired and he let go, but instead of returning to the floor where he'd spent the last hour and a half, he flopped onto the sofa with Evie.  
However, unlike Evie he wasn't straight, so naturally he lay out on his back with his head in the middle of the seat and his legs dangling over the arm rest.

"You're so extra." Evie said, rolling her eyes and flicking him in the ear.

"Thanks, love you too, bitch." He said in response. A moment later he added on "I actually do though. Thanks for looking after me. Heart emoji."

"Aww, you actually mean that don't you?" She must have been genuinely touched by his statement to have overlooked the fact that he'd said 'heart emoji' in a sentence.

"Yeah." He nodded "I don't know what kind of a mess I'd be in if it wasn't for you. Not today I mean, just like... Overall." Jacob mused. He always liked how easy it was to be completely open when he was pinged because the weird lack of any negativity just made him a massive softie. He knew he'd be embarrassed when it wore off, but it didn't bother him too much in the moment.

"D'you miss Dad?" Evie asked out of the blue.

"What?"

"D'you miss Dad?" She repeated.

"You know I don't."

"Yeah, I guess I do. Just wanted to take advantage of your sudden honesty. Thought maybe you only pretended you're not bothered the rest of the time." She was quiet for a few seconds before asking "What about mum?"

"It's the same for her as it is with Dad. Feel like I missed out on having parents in the first place rather than missing them as individual people."

"Huh." Evie said, giving nothing away.

"You should do md with me some time. Make you talk properly not just sneaky hidden meaning questions poking about in my brain."

Evie snorted. "Forgive me for refusing the generous offer to regress into the mindset of an ape for several hours, but you're not really selling it."

"Noooo, like proper stuff, not this rubbish." Jacob replied, wiping his sweaty hands on his trousers.

"Perhaps one day." Evie said, but Jacob knew she'd only said it to shut him up, so he went back to watching the gentle swirling patterns on the ceiling.

The longer he looked, the more convinced he was that whatever interior decorator had done the textured coating must have been a secret descendant of Michelangelo.  
He could see a beautiful scene with some sort of Greek or Roman gods in crashing waves, and there was a giant holding a woman a bit like how King Kong held the blonde lady at the top of the empire state building, but all these cherubs and gods were fighting him and there were faces in the waves and everything somehow blended into each other.

"Hey, Evie, look at this." He said softly, not taking his eyes off it.

"What?"

He pointed at the ceiling. "I can't believe I didn't see this before, it must have taken so long to make."

"The ceiling?"

"No, the picture! Look, there's Zeus or something," He said, pointing up at the figure "and he's fighting that giant just there, and all the waves are full of people and the cherubs are helping."

"Jacob, I'm sure it's lovely," Evie said kindly "but you do realise it's not actually there? I won't be able to see it."

"It is!" He insisted, tearing his eyes away and twisting round to look at her imploringly. "You just have to look harder, it's hidden."

Evie chuckled softly. "Now that you're a bit less scrambled, it's actually quite sweet seeing you like this."

"You're scrambled." Jacob mumbled, pulling out his phone. "I'm taking a photo to show Greenie, he'll believe me."

"Wow, I can definitely take a day off from embarrassing you, you're doing all the work yourself." Evie said with a smile.

A few minutes later Evie's phone started ringing. "Hi Henry!" She answered it, looking pointedly at Jacob as she spoke.  
"Oh, a weird text from my brother you say?" A pause "No, don't worry, no psychological breakdowns here, he's doing wonderfully! Aside from the fact that he's taken fentanyl laced ecstasy and thinks there's a hidden artwork of ancient gods in our living room ceiling, everything is perfectly normal."

"Oi lemme say hi to Greenie!" Jacob piped up, holding his arm out and making grabby hand motions.

Evie held up a finger for him to wait a moment "Sorry Henry, Jacob wants to say hello, I'll put you on speaker for a sec."

"HI GREENIE!" Jacob yelled, dropping his arm again.

-"Hello Jacob, you feeling alright?" Came Henry's voice through the phone. He mostly sounded amused, but there was an undertone of concern.

"I feel so weird! D'you wanna come over? I can show you the picture in real life!"

-Henry chuckled. "I mean... if that's ok with Evie then sure, it seems entertaining to say the least."

Evie took the phone off speaker and held it back up to her ear. "Fine by me, but don't say I didn't warn you." she said with a smile. "See you in a bit - bye!"

\---

After Henry arrived and satisfied himself that his friend was in no immediate danger, Jacob finally agreed to let Evie switch the channel to something other than River Monsters, so for the last hour or so the three of them had been watching The Greatest Showman on the film channel.  
Jacob, currently being so completely free of all inhibitions, spent most of the time stood in the way of the telly singing along tunelessly and attempting to copy the dances.  
He was doing a terrible job overall, but Evie and Henry were having a better time watching him than the film itself, so they hadn't told him to stop.

"Greenie, you're doing history, why don't people wear top hats anymore?" Jacob asked after he'd finished a horrible rendition of The Other Side.

Henry chuckled. "I'm doing art history, we don't learn about Victorian hats."

Jacob pouted. "Well I think you should."

"There's nothing stopping you from looking into it." Henry pointed out.

"Yeah there is," Jacob whined "I'm too stupid."

Evie rolled her eyes "You can say that again." She muttered under her breath.

"You're so mean." Jacob said, looking like a toddler who'd just dropped his biscuit in a puddle.

"You said it, not me!" Evie shrugged.

"I don't think you're stupid, Jacob!" Henry chimed in. "Perhaps not the most academic, but that's not everything- who knows, maybe your future lies on stage." Him and Evie shared a look and giggled.

"Are you making fun of me?" Jacob said, raising his eyebrows.

"Not at all! There's always space for an extra clown at the circus." Evie said with a laugh. Even Henry was shocked face at that comeback.

"Greenieeee, make her stop being mean." He pleaded, doing his best puppy dog eyes.

Henry regarded him with sympathy "I think we both know you'd sooner get the moon on a stick than get Evie to stop teasing you."

"Ugh." Jacob said, and flung himself dramatically onto the floor again. "I'm tired." He said, his voice muffled due to the fact that he was lying with his face buried in the rug.

He lay there completely silently and just let himself wander off into a sort of half-dream. It was rare for him to focus for long on anything exclusively in his head, he was usually distracted by whatever was going on in his surroundings, but even the Greatest Showman soundtrack didn't drag him out of his new favourite activity of lying face down on the carpet.

This must've gone on long enough to worry Evie and Henry because he was snapped out of it when a cold hand poked him in the neck.  
"Gedoff, whayoudoin?" He groaned, rolling over onto his back and squinted at the two figures leaning over him.

"Checking your pulse, can hardly blame me given the circumstances." Evie told him. She sounded fine, but there was a tension around her eyes that gave away the fact that she must've actually been a bit scared for a moment there.

"Weirdo." Jacob retorted "I was sleeping... Sort of."

"Well you looked like a cadaver so forgive me for being cautious."

"I'm fine, I think the pill is starting to wear off now anyway." He said, rubbing his eyes. "How long's it been?"

"Coming up to four hours."

"Makes sense. Usually lasts four or five, but since this was a FUCKING DUD-" He sat up and took a few breaths. He wasn't angry he'd just felt like shouting, but now he thought about it, maybe he should be.  
"I'm gonna fight that bitch boy who sold me this crap, he gave me weak acid before as well, told me it was my fault for not keeping the little bag in the fridge, I mean who keeps their drugs in the fridge?!" He looked around at Evie and Henry, thinking they'd be nodding in agreement, but Henry mostly looked blank, and Evie had a glint of steel in her eye.

"I'll fight him as well." She agreed "That bastard could've killed you."

"Ha. I'd like to see him try. No one can kill me, not even myself."  
Henry looked especially awkward at that, he genuinely didn't seem to know if it was a joke or not and honestly Jacob wasn't entirely sure either, but he put it out of his mind.

"You two-" Henry said, holding out a hand to help Jacob off the floor "you're both barely 5'7, how do you expect to 'get him' in any way at all? Why not find a different dealer and stop talking to this guy?"

"Or, I don't know, Jacob could stop taking class A drugs? Just a thought." Chimed in Evie. "But still, revenge comes first."

"I'm gonna spit in his fucking drink next time he orders from Domino's. That'll teach him."

"And I'll hit him in the face with his own front door when he comes to answer it." Evie said with a grim laugh.

Jacob grinned at Henry. "See? We're efficient, me and Evie."

Henry shook his head with a smile and ruffled Jacob's hair. "You sure are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so funny to imagine, I think my brain works so much in pictures that I'm not great at getting across what I'm actually thinking of using words, but I hope there was enough of what I had in my head coming through to make someone laugh


End file.
